Today, I was reflecting on the decisions I’ve made in the past and how I have evolved in my decision making over the last couple of years.
When I was younger I only focused on making the best decisions for ME. I wasn’t worried about others in the least. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying I didn’t care about others, what I’m saying is that everything I did or decided to do was for my own benefit and if others benefited from that decision then GREAT but that wasn’t my concern. I was only concerned about how my decisions made ME feel and what would make ME happy at that time.
Ultimately, what I found is that making those “Selfish Decisions” attached to me and did not manifest their results until much later in my life. They manifested as hurt, pain and turmoil in many areas of my life. I saw how eventually it affected those who loved me negatively which resulted in irreparable relationships, financial hardships, and unforeseeable internal emotional deficiencies within my soul that still affects me to this day.
For instance, my relationship with my only son has been negatively affected by my selfish decisions of my youth. I wasn’t ready to be a father but because of my decision to be irresponsible as a teen resulted in a unexpected pregnancy that I was definitely not prepared for. Shit, I was just a kid myself. To save time and not bore you with the details..my son’s mother and I were both too young to take on such a tremendous responsibility but as the Nationwide Insurance commercial says..”Life comes at you FAST”. And so, we had to grow up fast and before you know it we were parents.
But, I wasn’t ready…
And unlike a lot of deadbeat dads I decided I would always provide for my son (financially) but I wasn’t ready to commit to a life long relationship with his mother and that resulted in conflict that ultimately led to a strain (or so that was my excuse) in my ability to have a productive relationship with my child for many years…
Looking back, that was not the case. I could have made a better effort to forge a thriving relationship with him but my selfishness took the wheel and I let the torn relationship between me and his mother deter me from making a decision to fight for my relationship with him. It wasn’t like his mother was holding me back from seeing him. I was just too into myself and doing what I wanted to do at the time and that was be a teenager while she had to mature and be his mother.
Over the years, as my son grew up and began to understand things more he realized that I was not there for him like I should have been. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a complete deadbeat. We saw each other plenty times but it wasn’t as consistent as it should have been and that was because I did not make my son a priority. It was when I decided I wanted to be bothered or when I had time…
And now I am paying for it. It’s resulted in my son not making ME a priority as his father and I totally understand how he feels now.
I wish I could turn back the hands of time and get a do over but of course that is not a possibility. Since then I’ve learned that making quality decisions are not based on self but on how those decisions we make affect the others we love and that’s what truly matters.
Fast forward to 2018 and with the help of God and years of reflection and maturity I have become a much better decision maker and I am making exponential growth in my personal, professional, and spiritual life thru the power of making “Unselfish Decisions”.
So, learn from my mistakes and start to embark on a new way of decision making. Begin today to make your decisions with others in mind and I promise you that you will have a life of less heartache, pain, and discomfort and future will be full of happiness, success and joy.
“I AM a better decision maker! I make all my decisions with those that I love and care about in mind. My decisions are rooted in love and I Am blessed because of them NOW!”
It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped -Anthony Robbins